An Open Letter . . .
To anyone with a Whole Foods “Free Range Against the Machine” bumper sticker affixed to your car:
Please remove this sticker. I beg you. The message makes no sense. In fact, it’s the epitome of irony (or is it paradox?), and further evidence of the “machine’s” insidious ability to play you faster than Earl Scruggs played the fiddle. (Or was that the mandolin?)
CLARIFICATION, 3:58 pm: Earl Scruggs played the banjo.
Anyway, the first point you might wish to consider is that “free-range” as a descriptive term is meaningless. Meaningless. Well, actually, it’s worse than meaningless. With Orwellian efficiency, the titans of industry (the machine) have twisted this term to convey a veneer of virtue while continuing with business as usual: packing thousands of uncaged birds into barns with theoretical access to the outdoors. Usually, a patch of cement.
In other words, free-range is industry’s idea of getting you to strike the pose of a chicken revolutionary while paying more for birds that are treated essentially the same as caged birds at Tysons. By legitimating this term with something as culturally normative as a bumper sticker (is there really any better example of an invasion into cultural consciousness?) you become a handmaiden of industry. You pose as a rebel against the machine while—ha!—doing the machine’s lexiconal dirty work for it. You’re actually worse than a hack; you’re a machinist! Machinations are your forte!
Michael Pollan was onto something when he performed (and, really, the man does perform, doesn’t he? Look for a post soon on my comparison of Pollan and Karl Marx—performers!) a literary critique of Whole Foods’ rhetoric in The Omnivore’s Dilemma. The company does have a way with words, sort of like my canine friend George used to have a way with my shoes. For the sake of the integrity of the English language please, again, keep your car bumper free of this sinister wordplay and replace it with a meaningful message. I’d recommend “Howl.” (Sorry, I’m fresh back from San Francisco).
Howling in the Wilderness (and never, ever performing),
James McWilliams
One strike against the machine – scientists finally discover the noses in front of their faces and proclaim that animals and birds are conscious beings:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/animal-emotions/201208/scientists-finally-conclude-nonhuman-animals-are-conscious-beings
Earl Scruggs played the banjo. And yeah that’s pretty fast.
James, seriously, you are amazing. This post just encapsulates all of the reasons why. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write that post about Pollan and Marx!! I mean, seriously. Please.
Also, poor Rage Against the Machine. Always having themselves co-opted in the silliest ways… I’m sure Zack de la Rocha wouldn’t be very excited about this bumper sticker on several accounts.
I join you, carolyn z, in pleading for the Pollan/Marx post to be published — how about tomorrow, James?
Ignorant me asks: Who is Zack de la Rocha?
P.S. I also agree with your first sentence, cz.
Zack de la Rocha is the singer/founder of the band Rage Against the Machine who this bumper sticker is ripping off
Gotcha. Thanks for being my Google and Wikipedia!
Oh wow, in my small part of BC, I have been fortunate to not see this sticker.
Great post!
Never, ever performing, Jimmy? This hurts my head. The denial of performance is so obviously the performance. Only a true performer would venture into a Pollan-Marx soliloquy, much less tease it so.
P.S. The sticker is inane. Surely, though, one has read more offensive, incongruent, or disturbing bumper mantras.
You still do know me, Ryan! Great to hear from you. Where are you these days? How’s Miles?
j
My man! I will hit you on the official email.